A Love/Hate Relationship with Infertility Success Stories
When I read stories or posts online about people getting to the other side of infertility mountain, though I’m super grateful they take the time to share, I have to unfollow. Because, like it or not, sometimes it lights a fire of jealousy and rage inside me! Even though I know the person struggled, now she (or he) has a baby (or three).
This is also why secondary infertility posts can be triggering to people with primary infertility. We recognize that secondary infertility is a real sucky thing. But we dream of having one child and, sometimes, getting to the point of having secondary infertility! I won’t say any more on that because I definitely don’t want to invalidate the experience of secondary infertility or any painful thing anyone else is going through. Even having a child after surviving infertility is its own unique experience (and there are support groups for that).
Sharing your story, whether inspirational, educational, vent-y or angry, is always valuable. It raises awareness and helps people going through infertility or who have an autoimmune disease like MS to feel seen. Alexis, ever the optimist, reminds me that success stories are good because they show lots of people getting to the other side of this.
But most of the time, instead of feeling inspired, it’s just another thing that hurts. You see evidence that even all the people around you doing IVF and struggling are having babies and it’s still not working for you.
If the curse I’m under ends up breaking and I have a baby, you have every right to be pissed off and jealous of me, too. I won’t give you platitudes about how one day your day will come because I honestly don’t know if it will. But I will continue to share my stories, now and in the future, and I hope they will feel relatable (but, of course, unfollow me if they ever trigger you!). You are not alone!
I would love to publish your infertility or MS story on this blog (even if you are on the other side now, I promise ;) )! You can share it here. <3